Ammachy

Today is the nine year anniversary of my grandmother's - Sister Ammu George - passing.

I called her Ammachy.

She was my second mother.

The one who raised me to be the spiritual woman I am today.

Words can't express the bond/connection we shared.

There are just too many stories to tell.

Maybe one day, I'll write a book about what an incredible woman she was.

But for now, I just want to acknowledge her.

I miss her.

It's an ache that I never thought I'd feel for someone.

I found this birthday card that I had given her, just a few days ago while I was rummaging through some things.

It's dated 3-5-01.

Exactly one month before she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

And exactly six months before she passed away.

I miss you Ammachy.

And love you more than ever.

Birthdays: Past & Present

The Past

The Present*

*[Amazingly delicious] vegan cherry cheesecake from The Loving Cafe

Thirty Years in the Making: A Birthday Reflection

Thirty years ago, today...I was born in silence.

Which is pretty ironic, because outside the room I was born in, it sounded like a freight train.

When I came into the world, I wasn't crying, I was barely breathing...nada, zip, zilch.

Everyone thought I was dead.

****

People are always asking me, "So where are you from?" And when I go into my lil schpeel of, "I-was-born-in-the-Caribbean-but-am-originally-of-Indian-decent," I always get the proverbial, "Come again?" or "Say whaaaa??!!"

So today, as I reflect on my thirty years of life here on this earth, I thought I'd share my beginning...

The year was 1979 and it was the 18th day of September. The location was St. John's, Antigua.


During this time, rearing it's ugly head and [literally] making waves in the Atlantic Ocean and Caribbean Sea, was a behemoth of a hurricane...Hurricane David. (This is probably why, "I love stormy weather the best and more than most," and probably why my Dad has called me, "His little hurricane.")

A Category 5 hurricane, David left its mark on history as being among the deadliest hurricanes in the latter half of the 20th century, killing 2,068 people in its path. (Learn more about David here.)


While David howled and growled outside (and the torrential rains fell and the skies darkened and the winds howled), in the only hospital on the island - Holberton Hospital, a 27 year-old woman who had been struggling for hours in labor, finally gave up her efforts in pushing her child out, while her husband did everything in his medical power to make sure his wife's delivery and the birth of his first born was a safe and healthy one, and all the while, in the background, a mother-in-law frantically paced the delivery room, praying.

The chief OBGYN, Dr. Ghosh, turned to my father and said, "Hold on the C-section...let's try the forceps."

A few minutes later...I entered the world, as Mridula Mareen Chandy Jacob. (As a show of gratitude for Dr. Ghosh's help in the delivery, they decided to name me after his wife, Mridula.)

I was born not technically dead...but I wasn't technically fully alive.

And as the delivery room erupted into further chaos as staff tended to me and my father and Dr. Ghosh tended to my mother, and my grandmother circled in panic, Hurricane David reminded everyone that he was the real star of the day...as the lights dimmed and the roof started to curl up and expose David's deafening screech and wetness outside.

With my mother's condition stabilized and my breathing somewhat stabilized, the decision was made to move me to a more secure part of the hospital and to an incubator, which hopefully would bring my vitals back to normal. While my father stayed back with my mom, my grandma ran after the nurse who was carrying me.

According to my grandmother, the nurse hastily put me in the incubator and then ran back to the delivery room to check on my mom. My grandmother said that as she leaned over to look at me in the incubator, she noticed that something was still wrong. I still didn't seem right. My breathing wasn't getting better, in fact, it looked like I was destabilizing again.

As she tried tried to find anyone to give me some medical attention - everyone seemed to have vanished because of David's imminent threat - she noticed something...the incubator was not plugged into the outlet.

If my grandmother hadn't ran after that nurse, I may or may have not been here today, writing this post 30 years later.


From that day on, I've always had a special bond/connection with my grandmother (which I will talk about in more detail in a future post.)

I gotta admit, I'm going through a wave of emotions today: nostalgia, happiness, numbness, disbelief, gratitude, etc., all leaving me very unsure of how I feel about leaving my twenties behind and entering this new era of my life.

One thing I know for sure though is this...

That my getting here was rife with obstacles but despite it all, I am here. And I strongly believe for a particular...divine...purpose.

What that particular purpose is, I am still trying to figure out thirty years later.

But that's okay.

Because I know that God is in control of my life.

And my promise to myself...and God...is to continue what I've been doing for the past 30 years...and the agenda for the 30 ahead...figuring out that particular, divine purpose...and fulfilling it.

This verse came to me this birthday morning:

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

Jeremiah 1:5 (New International Version)

And even though I some[often]times feel like my thirty years don't really have that much to show for, I know that's okay.

Because like Brandon Heath sings, God isn't finished with me...yet.

And I'm okay with that too.

He's up to something...

I just have to wait and see.

Happy Anniversary

Thirty one years ago, today, Chandy (Shashi) Jacob (of the Anglican faith) and Elizabeth (Thangam) George (of the Pentecostal faith) stood before each other and dedicated their lives to each other...and God (in an Anglican church) at 11 a.m., in Kerala, India.


It goes without saying, that these past 31 years of marriage have been a miracle divinely predestined and blessed by God.

Happy 31 Dad and Mom.

Here's to 31 more...

God willing.



18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

19 Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name.

20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found.

21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh.

22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

23 The man said, "This is now bone of my bones 
and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman, ' for she was taken out of man."

24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

Genesis 2:18-24 (New International Version)

9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:

10 If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls 
and has no one to help him up!

11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?

12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (New International Version)

A Simple Prayer

Dear Jesus,

I have one simple prayer.

Please help me...

Please help me to NOT be ...

...rageful
...angry
...quick-tempered
...hateful
...misleading
...lustful
...perverse
...conditional
...evil
...judgmental
...critical
....emotional
...paranoid
...ungrateful
...jealous
...envious
...covetous
...gluttonous
...slothful
...lazy
...insecure
...shallow
...unclean
...pessimistic
...apathetic
...unmotivated
...listless
...numb
...distracted
...revengeful
...forgetful
...foolish
...hasty
...harsh
...mean spirited
...hopeless
...lost
...confused
...longing
...unforgiving
...depressing
...bitter
...unfriendly
...sensitive
...careless
...wasteful
...unsatisfied
...anxious
...worried
...stressed
...fatigued
...unlikable
...confrontational
...despised
...prideful
...easily affected
...impatient
...unstable
...disrespectful
...stubborn
...combative
...narcissistic
...immature


...and most of all, please help me to NOT be a disappointment to you.

All this I ask in your name,

Amen.

Excellence

Today will mark one month since I've been working at Purple Trout.

It's really hard to believe, since it only felt like yesterday, that I was still at home, job hunting from my couch.

Guess time flies when you're having fun.

Every day I'm grateful to God for His blessings and the opportunities He's placed before me, but in typical human fashion - and mainly because of the insecurities instilled in me after being let go from my job back in January - I find myself constantly doubting my abilities and the security of my position. I always feel like things are a little too good to be true and that with a *SNAP* everything will disappear.

But no matter what happens...or doesn't happen...I realize that I don't have any control over my job situation, or my life for that matter.

All I can do is trust in God.

And do my part.

Because that's how it works: you do your part and God will do His.

We are expected to do our duty, whether that means being the best employee, employer, teacher, student, parent, sibling, friend, etc., or whatever your current role in life may be...you have to strive to be the best.

That is our duty as Christians: utilizing the gifts, talents, skills and abilities that God has placed in each of us, to the best of our abilities.

Once we do that, God will do His duty: honoring and rewarding our diligence.

Here are a couple of things I've learned from my previous...and present...employment experiences:

1. Remember that your boss is God. By honoring your human boss, you honor God, but God is the One who you're working for.
2. Everything you do should bring God glory...not your ego, your boss or your company.
   
3. Never put your faith/trust in man: man (including your own self) will ALWAYS fail you; God NEVER fails you.
4. Never let money be a priority. Once you let money become important to you, it ruins you...and those around you.
5. Remember that none of it: the job, the career, the title, the money, your abilities, etc...NONE of it belongs to you. God has GIVEN you everything. What He gives, He can take away. Jut keep that in mind, when you are reluctant to pay your tithes and hold on to your paycheck.
6. Be grateful...for everything: the good, bad and the ugly. God has put you in your current job/career for a reason...understanding and recognizing that will change your attitude.
   

Below is a devotional that, ironically, I just read yesterday.

Rick Warren outlines five characteristics that all successful - Christian - people should exhibit/strive for.

It's the "work module" that I currently apply, and hope to perfect, in my "strategy" for excelling at my career...and everything else in my life for that matter.

Excelling at What You Do

By Rick Warren | Wednesday, August 5, 2009 | 4:22 PM EDT

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as though you were working for the Lord and not for people” (Colossians 3:23 TEV).

During the 2008 Summer Olympics, Michael Phelps gave us an extraordinary display of the pursuit of excellence. But the truth is every athlete in the Olympics pursues excellence as peak performers in their categories of competition.

The Bible identifies five characteristics of people who excel at what they do.

1. People who excel work with enthusiasm. Regardless of whether the job is big or small, give it your best. Great performers give their best effort, no matter the size of the audience: “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as though you were working for the Lord and not for people” (Colossians 3:23 TEV).

2. People who excel sharpen their skills. They never stop developing, growing, learning, and improving: “If your ax is dull and you don’t sharpen it, you have to work harder to use it. It is smarter to plan ahead” (Ecclesiastes 10:10 TEV). It takes more than desire to excel, it takes skill! Remember, you’re never wasting time when you’re sharpening your “ax.”

3. People who excel keep their word. They are reliable. They can be counted on to do what they say they’ll do. So they excel because people of integrity are rare in our society: “Everyone talks about how loyal and faithful he is, but just try to find someone who really is!” (Proverbs 20:6 TEV).

4. People who excel maintain a positive attitude. Even under pressure, or change, or unrealistic demands, they don’t allow themselves to become negative: “Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life . . .” (Philippians 2:14–16 NIV). And remember: “If your boss is angry at you, don’t quit! A quiet spirit can overcome even great mistakes” (Ecclesiastes 10:4 NLT).

5. People who excel do more than is expected. This is a secret that every successful person has discovered. You’ll never excel by only doing what is required. Jesus said, “If someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously” (Matthew 5:40–42 MSG).

The Broadway lyricist Oscar Hammerstein once told the story of seeing the top of the Statue of Liberty from a helicopter. He was impressed because of the incredible detail the artist had sculpted on an area that no one was expected to see. In fact, the Statue of Liberty was completed with no idea that man would someday be able to fly over the statue!

When you’re tempted to cut corners, thinking, “No one will ever know,” remember God is looking down and sees everything you do. Give him your best this week!

(Devotional taken directly from: http://www.purposedriven.com)

Heart of Mouth

When given the opportunity, who did you choose to honor and promote...God...or yourself?

When you were given your soapbox, your talents, your skills, your moment in time...who did you choose to talk about/dwell on/direct people's attention to?

When given a forum to reach hundreds, and even, thousands of people, who did you choose to give praise to?

When the marquee was up, whose name was in bold, flashing, bright letters?

Have you assumed the lead role/star of the production position...or do people know that God is the director and leading role?

If it's all about you, then it is never about God.

Your ego CAN NOT compete with God's.

Who is at the bottom of you heart?

You?

Or God?


Two Kinds of People


"A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks."

Luke 6:45 (New King James Version)

Hung

This *man was born to be nekked...

...and a Happiness Consultant.

Sunday nights never (ever!) looked so good.

Patricia Arquette is one lucky biatch. I mean, real lucky.






*Jesus, please forgive me....for I have sinned.

The Next Chapter: Part 2

My, "The Next Chapter", post made local news yesterday.

It originally aired in the 6p.m. Sunday broadcast, then again at 11p.m., and then made the Top 5 stories during Monday's News 5 Today broadcast.

Special thanks to Michael Altman, Andrew Setters and Dan Roark at WLWT. And even more special thanks to Altman who wanted to take the faith angle with the story and insisting the interview be done in the parking lot of Vineyard Community Church...just before I attended my regular service on Sunday. I wouldn't have done the interview, if I couldn't talk about my faith. Altman and Setters, thank you both for making sure that angle remained in the package.

The moral of this story kids?

Give God...and social media...at least...one chance.

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."

1 Corinthians 10:31 (New International Version)

"...'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the Lord Almighty."

Zechariah 4:6 (New International Version)

*UPDATE*

• The story was picked up by MSNBC.
• The sis has been my biggest cheerleader and unofficial paparazzi on "set." See pics here.

Can't You See?

You Belong With Me
Taylor Swift

You're on the phone with your girlfriend, She's upset
She's going off about something that you said
She doesn't get your humor like I do

I'm in the room, its a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like
And she'll never know your story like I do

But she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming bout the day when you'll wake up and find
That what you're lookin for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me
You belong with me

Walkin the streets with you in your worn out jeans
I cant help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on the park bench thinkin to myself
Hey isn't this easy?

And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in awhile, since she brought you down
You say you find I know you better than that
Hey, Whatcha doing with a girl like that?

She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming bout the day when you'll wake up and find
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me

Standin by, waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know that?
You belong with me
You belong with me

Oh I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're about to cry
I know your favorite songs and you tell me about your dreams
I think I know where you belong. I think I know it's with me.

Can't you see that I'm the one who understand you?
Been here all along so why can't you see?
You belong with me

Standing by or waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know that
You belong with me
You belong with me

Have you ever thought just maybe
You belong with me
You belong with me